Sherriffs Report 28 - Bull in a China Shop
Post date: Jan 23, 2013 9:11:16 AM
By Mellam Hollytoes I awoke one morning to much banging on my front door and opened it to find an irate Rolf Bracegirdle standing there. He explained that they had a problem at the homestead market and I should come and see it. I asked Rolf what it was but he said it would be better if I saw myself. So I followed Rolf to the market building and noticed the front door was wide open. Inside the hallway was a large black and white bull chewing a cud!
“Its a bull” I said to Rolf!
“I know” He replied!
“Its in the hall” I remarked!
“I know” He sighed!
Well it appears after talking to Rolf that the bull was chewing grass by big tree outside the homestead market. Rolf had opened up for the morning and was helping Miss Wytha set up for the day, when they noticed the bull was now in the hall.
After giving the problem some thought I decided wiser heads were called for, so I got the Deputy Mayor Wiberic. I explained that an incident had occurred at the homestead market and could he come an advise.
Well we got to the doorway to see the bull still chewing cud, and a number of hobbits watching the show.
“Its a bull” remarked the Deputy Mayor!
“I know” I replied!
“Its in the hall” He said!
“I know” I sighed!
Much thought was given to the problem and it was decided wiser heads were needed. We went and consulted with Master Matzo and explained our problem. After much grumbling and moaning about young hobbits with no common sense, he agreed to help.
“We need a cow” He said!
“We do?” Both me and Wiberic replied!
“Yes you idiots, and one in season” He said!
“Why?” I ventured!
“Just get one, Shirriff “ He shouted!
So leaving the Deputy Mayor and Master Matzo in charge I chased down the required cow from farmer Longo Burrow, and he even supplied a hobbit to herd it. The cost for this help was one feeding sty and several pies, being paid for by the Deputy Mayor.(Who will be informed of this when appropriate)
The journey back from the farm to the homestead was uneventful, apart from the constant sniggering from the herder Tom Proudfoot. Anyway we arrived back with the bull still in situ. Master Matzo told Tom to lead the cow (buttercup by name) to the door. This he did and as she approached she mooed. Well the bull seemed to wake up then and he gave a moo back. This went of for a couple of minutes, when suddenly he headed for the open door. Tom lead Buttercup over to the large tree followed by the bull, and a cheer was given by all of us there.
So it all ended happily ever after apart from the cleaning up. So if anyone needs some compost for your flowers or vegetables, just pop by any time.
Report ends: Local Shirriff Mellam Hollytoes investigating officer.
Signed Mellam
Leading Buttercup to the Homesteads