By Shire Eye
The Lazy Hobbits finally got together last Sunday at the Cottons’ Farm down
Bywater way and this reporter can state categorically that their meeting was a
complete success insofar as absolutely nothing of any use got done.
These folk are past masters in the art of doing nothing, but it has to be said that they
enjoy plenty of fun and friendly banter along the way.
At this month’s meeting they had set themselves the task of soundproofing Tom and
Rosie Cotton’s Burrow so that they would not be disturbed by the forthcoming
anniversary celebration which will take place at the nearby Green Dragon Inn on 19 th
May.
This required a great deal of preliminary pondering, an art in which some of these
hobbits excel, and sub-groups of musers, cogitators and ruminators were quickly
established.
After considering and rejecting the possibility of using either moss or sheep’s wool as
soundproofing, not least because this would have required someone to actually go
and collect these materials, it was agreed that the best plan would be to send the
Cottons off on a holiday while the aforementioned event took place.
Having solved the noise pollution issue so satisfactorily these lazy hobbits were free
to indulge in such idle pursuits as took their fancy and showed remarkable creativity
in coming up with some completely useless , and often quite bizarre, activities.
Highlights included using a firework to flush a shrew out of a chicken coop and Miss
Pycella Woodberry revealing an unexpected aptitude as a slug whisperer. The
meeting ended with a meal in the Cottons’ yard when one of the more active
members eventually got round got round to lighting a campfire.
Nothing got done, but they all had fun, and it was suggested that the next meeting
might be by the river at Budgeford - if anyone actually gets round to organising it!