Lazy Hobbits’ Club Meet-Up – Sunday 7th May

By Shire Eye

The Lazy Hobbits finally got together last Sunday at the Cottons’ Farm down

Bywater way and this reporter can state categorically that their meeting was a

complete success insofar as absolutely nothing of any use got done.

These folk are past masters in the art of doing nothing, but it has to be said that they

enjoy plenty of fun and friendly banter along the way.

At this month’s meeting they had set themselves the task of soundproofing Tom and

Rosie Cotton’s Burrow so that they would not be disturbed by the forthcoming

anniversary celebration which will take place at the nearby Green Dragon Inn on 19 th


This required a great deal of preliminary pondering, an art in which some of these

hobbits excel, and sub-groups of musers, cogitators and ruminators were quickly


After considering and rejecting the possibility of using either moss or sheep’s wool as

soundproofing, not least because this would have required someone to actually go

and collect these materials, it was agreed that the best plan would be to send the

Cottons off on a holiday while the aforementioned event took place.

Having solved the noise pollution issue so satisfactorily these lazy hobbits were free

to indulge in such idle pursuits as took their fancy and showed remarkable creativity

in coming up with some completely useless , and often quite bizarre, activities.

Highlights included using a firework to flush a shrew out of a chicken coop and Miss

Pycella Woodberry revealing an unexpected aptitude as a slug whisperer. The

meeting ended with a meal in the Cottons’ yard when one of the more active

members eventually got round got round to lighting a campfire.

Nothing got done, but they all had fun, and it was suggested that the next meeting

might be by the river at Budgeford - if anyone actually gets round to organising it!