(Miss Anerra was hosting said Friday and announced the reporting.)

Anerra 'Master Hermanniadoc, a well known bounder, has a Bounder's Report!'

(The assembled hobbits clapped and turned their attention towards the rug.)

Anerra 'I hope I'm not mentioned in it!'

I reply to her 'As I already said, we have no suspects'

Then Master Freddiric interrupts rudely, saying 'Monday: Slept in. Tuesday: Slept in the Inn...'

Master Willywinkle has more plight and said 'Maybe we will find out if they have solved any cases'

(I cough politely and the crowd again turn their attention to the matters at hand.)

'Greetings, friends and fellow hobbits!'

'My name is Hermanniadoc Snorkintree, Songburrow Bounder, at your service.'

'Today I bring you the most recent bounder reports gathered from all four Farthings.'

'From the West Farthing, Hereward Loamsdown, Tavern Keeper of the Ivy Bush Inn, has complained about mugs getting stolen.'

(The crowd mutters intensely.)

'I am proud to report that Shirriff Robin Smallburrow himself has been stationed permanently at the bar counter to look into the matters.'

'It is just a matter of time before we get resolution to who might have taken the fine mugs.'

'Anyone who can shed light on the matter can report directly to me or to Shirriff Robin at the Ivy Bush.'

(This seem to satisfy the atendees.)

'On a different matter Second Shirriff Bodo Bunce is still recruiting new able bounders, he can be found in the Town Hole of Michel Delving.

'A bounders life is not for everyone, it includes dangerous patrolling along the outskirts of society, sometimes as far away as Needlehole, Brockenborings or even Budgeford.'

'But it is an honourable vocation and besides the pleasure of keeping your fellow hobbits safe there is also many perks and we get these fancy uniforms too.'

(I pull off a couple of impressive poses to show the flexibility and noble look of the uniform.)

'And speaking of uniforms, Ernald Boffin has just gotten a frsh batch of these new uniforms, you can find him hanging around at the Golden Perch in Stock.'

The May Queen Rosenbleume says, 'I don't think I could drink enough ale to be a bounder'

To which Freddiric helpfully reply, 'They provide training Miss Rose!'

(The report was rounded.)

'Lastly there has been a rather slippery rumour going around.'

'You might have heard that a bunch of snakes have been let loose around the Bramblebury homeastead?'

(The crowd looks puzzled.)

Julienella says, 'Nope!'

Rosenbleume says, 'Eek!'

Rhubarbra says, 'No'

Willywinkle says, 'No, i have heard that!'

'No?'

(Everyone shaking their heads no.)

'Really?'

'Well, it isn't true anyway...'

(This seemed to satisfy everyone. Almost...)

Geoadoc says, 'yes you the one who did it'

Not going to comment on that I say 'That concludes this Bounder Report'