'tis Friday once more at the dragon And I have had quite a few flagons And now it's my time To regale you with rhyme Before I fall right off the wagon 'Tis Friday again so it's time To regale you once more with my rhyme If you don't like this verse It could be so much worse Just be thankful that I'm not a mime. Some people regale you with song Or with poems that go on and on but to some folk's relief I keep all mine brief Or else I will get the words wrong A dwarf once got stuck in a keg "Please help me" he started to beg We levered him out But on tapping the stout We found that it tasted of egg Now this is a cautionary tale Of the danger of too much fine ale You'll soon be unable To dance on the table And you'll trip right over the rail I once knew a young lad from Stock Who had a magnificent... Flock. Of chickens that is. If you like leg or breast His birds were the best But 'twas nothing compared to his... Shock. At finding out I wrote a poem about him. I got such an awful stage fright At the thought that my audience might bite Or that you might heckle The hobbit with freckles But it turned out alright on the night I knew a young hobbit from Staddle Who's frame was quite broad in the saddle Well I took a chance When I asked him to dance But the best he could do was a waddle Some poems are easy to start When I write of things close to my heart This one's not about ale Or a handsome young male This rhyme is about strawberry tart There was a lad from Needlehole Who before breakfast went out for a stroll Well the lad he did grumble and his stomach did rumble Cos he forgot to pack even a roll Late last Friday a bard with no name played songs that put us all to shame If he is here tonight It would be such delight If he would just play them again When I was last in Rushock Bog I was asked for a kiss by a frog I said I'm not convinced That you're really a Prince He said "No I just fancy a snog" I'm a lass who's partial to a brew I'll drink ale, stout and sometimes mead too But sometimes I think You need more than drink So I always leave room for some stew A hobbit lad once caught my eye Who could bake the most fabulous pie With a crust oh so deep Served with taters and 'neaps It's a shame it went straight to my thighs For cooking that's truly world class And a figure that none can surpass With the best dancing feet You really can't beat A genuine Shire bred hobbit lass This poem I wrote for miss Lina As of biscuits she couldn't be keener If you offer her some She won't leave a crumb And no-one will leave your plate cleaner Well I've been to Bucklebury ferry And the quarry that's over in Scary But I've never met A more welcoming set Than those fine folks that live in Bramblebury There's a hobbit who's known as Sapphyre Who takes the best seat by the fire And I really must say If she don't get her way She's the scariest thing in the Shire I warn you now lest you forget A hedgehog's a dangerous pet For if a hobbit's feet And a hedgehog's spines meet It's something you'll really regret I'm glad that I did my research so I didn't get left in the lurch For the Dragon is bare With no folk any where As everyone's come to the Perch Now I don't want you all to rib her But I can't find rhymes for Miss Tibba It took me four weeks To be ready to speak Cause I make an atrocious ad-libber Now before I return to the crowd One last thing I must say aloud Your appreciative cheers And occasional jeers Have made this young hobbit quite proud. Some information about the artist: Daphnea was born and raised in Staddle, though her dad was originally from the Shire but left after a family feud scattered the Shortfellow family to the four farthings and beyond. She grew up on her dad's farm but recently came back to the Shire because the Bree Land is no longer a safe place for a young lass. She lives on her own in Henbury and when not writing limericks she makes rugs and carpets to sell in the market. She is single and on the look out for a lad who knows how to dance and grow a good vegetable garden and preferably has a name that is easy to rhyme with. Her favourite pie filling is mushroom. |
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