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Shire Forecast – Winter Issue

posted Dec 12, 2022, 7:13 AM by Peppy Bristlebrush
By Pycella Woodberry

Here is the winter issue of the Shire Forecast. Here you can read about the weather, latest news, and the events hobbits might be interested in.


Less sunshine, colder temperatures
After a relatively warm autumn, the temperatures have now dropped. In some parts of the Shire, there has been a slight dusting of snow on the ground, though it has melted away pretty quickly (or disappeared, after someone has rolled it all into one snowball). The mornings have been quite foggy and chilly, making it hard for some hobbits to get out in the mornings. The weather gammers say that it might get chillier, so you better stock up with warm drinks and woolly blankets to keep things comfy. Keep growing the hair on yer toes thicker and shop for warm clothes at the market.

The missing furniture case is solved
If you have read the earlier Shire Forecast issues, you might know of the mysterious case of the missing hobbit furniture. Some hobbits have now solved the mystery after visiting many inns in the Yondershire. We are not sure how they exactly solved the case by visiting the numerous inns out yonder, but it turns out it’s all a scheme by none other than Lotho Sackville-Baggins. According to the inn-spectors, this “Chief” has been tampering the ale that has been shipped over to the Hithershire to hinder the bounders’ work. As we all know, the bounders are regulars at any inn, and the ale (containing hallucinatory mushrooms) was targeted at them. However, also other hobbits have drunk the foul ale, and this has made them “unsee” their own furniture. After the effect of the hallucinant is gone, the furniture shows again. We hope that Mayor Whitfoot will do something about this nasty thing soon.

Meanwhile, there have been other reports of other missing things. A pierate crew, consisting of pigs, hedgehogs and an oliphaunt, is missing. If you spot pierates like these, please report to Captain Penny Greenworthy. Also, there are reports from outside the bounds that a big rock has gone suddenly missing. There is a chance that someone has mined it away after hearing about it.

Throwing snowballs at the Shirriff and other activities
Besides solving mysteries, there are many things to do during the winter days. Yule is getting near, and that means that the gates of Winterhome will be opened again. You can finally haul all your dirty dishes there for washing (the town is known for its untiring voluntary dishwashers) and have some fun in the meantime. The town offers many activities, like making snowhobbits, battling on the snowball field, visiting the theatre, and lots of eating. Just beware the rascals who smuggle kegs, steal the biscuits from your pockets, throw rotten fruit at the theatre and try to turn you into a snowhobbit. Why are there so many rascals in Winterhome, you might wonder. They might all be hiding there from eager nannies who want to give every youngster a good pre-yule bath. However, nannies have their tricks, like Miss Almi, who tricked many hobbits into a river bath some years ago when she sent them after a missing miss “Pippa” who turned out to be a pig. So beware the nannies too.

There are also many opportunities to celebrate yule in the Shire. Yer might be interested in helping miss Lina with her magical yule painting she makes each yule. If you are lucky, it doesn’t involve a bath this year. Also, the hobbit yule calendar, pinned at the Hobbiton noticeboard, has been attracting many hobbits who look for some yule cheer. The pages of The Bramblebury Gazette are full of yule events to choose from: the December OAKS, Songburrow yule tree raising, Fed Poets Society meetup, Hobbitry yule party, Green Dragon yule party, Wassailing, New Year party in Brockenborings, the New Year snowball battle in Winterhome… Miss Pycella will also host the Green Dragon during the yule days (from 24th to 26th) when special yule party rooms will come available. There might not be much snow outside, but there are certainly good chances that you can get into a proper yule mood in the Shire too.

The Songburrow yule tree raising marks the official beginning of the so-called “shirriff season” for snowball throwers. It is a good form of exercise, both for the thrower and the shirriff involved. Also look out for a pink snowbeast who is very fond of throwing snowballs and tooting bagpipes. There is a rumour that this snowbeastlie is actually a hobbit in disguise, but it’s better to be safe than sorry and just run if you see it.

After the New Year festivities, things ease down a bit. However, we still need to bless the crops so that we will get a plenty harvest later. To ensure this, hobbits visit the farms of the Shire, singing songs and wishing the farmers a good harvest. This usually involves making some noise too, when the unfriendly spirits have to be chased away from the farms.

Winter might be the darkest and coldest time of the year, but the Shire hobbits make the best of it too, having fun together and finding ways to cheer themselves up. Just take a look at the Gazette to see what is going on, it will keep you up to date of the many happenings.

A merry yule and winter to all from the Shire Forecast crew!

PS. We have had one bath this year already. No need for a second yule bath! No need to trace us, nannies!

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