Letter: Skulking in the bushes

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posted Nov 21, 2013, 1:09 AM by Peppy Bristlebrush [ updated Dec 2, 2013, 2:20 AM by Aurabesh ]

By Malakita Greenstone

Dear Editor,

Can we tolerate this? Dubious persons skulking around honest folk? What are the shirrifs doing?

I had the fortune to listen to the Badgers eminent concert yesterday, just outside the Shire Homestead. Imagine my surprise when I spotted a sorry figure skulking in the bushes. I was surprised, although maybe I shouldn't, to find the notorious Dyronbrand Stepwise in a sorrowful state.

Dirty, unkempt and claiming to collect for other hobbits, he didn't stop to ask for a coin or two. Furthermore, he had no calms to spread dark rumors of the excellent Deputy Mayor Byronbrand. I've personally tailored his official cloak and know his commendatory character.

Now, I've been away from Shire for some time and back then there was a lot of rumors around the two brothers. Why haven't the shirrifs or the Mayor taken of this Dyronbrand?

Yours
Malakita

Editor:

Dear Miss Malakita,

As you've pointed out, this is indeed a matter to be handled by the authorities. By writing to the Gazette, you will certainly have brought this to their attention. What complicates the situation is that vagabondism by itself is no longer considered an offence as several culprits have succesfully claimed they were merely "having an adventure". This is still frowned upon, but not punishable by law. We suggest you contact the Deputy Mayor or the Local Shirrif.

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